Whether you like it or not, sports can have a daily impact on our lives.
I say this as someone who has backed off the idea of being a diehard fan. I try to see the positives in losses. I'm a patient fan. Two straight 100-loss seasons for my beloved Kansas City Royals haven't bugged me one bit, though admittedly the 2015 World Series title makes that easier.
The exception was the Oakland Raiders trading linebacker Khalil Mack to the Chicago Bears for draft picks. I even know exactly where I was when I found --- in the middle of a set of dumbbell curls when the news hit my phone.
Mack had made three straight pro bowls and averaged over 10 sacks a season during his Oakland Raiders career. He was blossoming into someone who wasn't just the best player on defense, but could be the best all around player in the NFL.
(Taking off the blinders, your choices are either Patrick Mahomes, Aaron Donald, Russell Wilson or Mack in some order)
As someone who lives and works in Kansas City, being an Oakland Raiders fan is a fun experience. Wearing silver and black on “Red Friday” - or really any day - is an invitation for ridicule. You get the rivalry trash talk.
It can feel like a pile on from Chiefs Kingdom — and that’s the case when the Raiders are actually good.
How about when they are bad, like they have been the past 15 years?
When I discuss NFL football amongst my friends, colleagues and family, I’m always the negative one. It’s not a coincidence. It’s more than just the Raiders being 86-173 since they lost a blowout Super Bowl to the Tampa Bay Buccaneers - coached by former and current Raiders head coach Jon Gruden.
It’s not just losing by an average of nearly seven points a game since 2003. Consider how tough that is — in over 260 games the past 15 years, the Raiders have lost by nearly a touchdown each game. Consider that most gambling lines are under seven points and that’s amazing.
It’s not just those wins and losses. It’s everything. It’s the free agency moves. It’s the trades, even the ones that look brilliant on paper, that don’t work out. It’s the opposite of the Midas Touch, perhaps we can call it the Raiduhs Touch. Quite simply, basically everything the Raiders have tried since 2003 has either not worked or failed in a spectacular fashion.
By the way, it could be worse.
This opus I’m motivated to write will not include Todd Marinovich. It will not include Bo Jackson’s hip. It will not include a mostly disastrous 1990s that saw the team leave Los Angeles on a bad note, losing seven straight games after starting the 1995 season 8-1. It won’t include the Tuck Rule, arguably the most important football game played in the past three decades and one of the most devastating losses for a team in NFL history.
For the sake of brevity and for the sake of me remaining somewhat sane as a football fan, this will just include the past 15 full seasons and the early portions of the 2019 season. The straw that broke the camel’s back, I guess you can say, was watching Khalil Mack and Amari Cooper dominate in a span of 48 hours during the third week of the 2019 NFL season. Cooper had two receiving touchdowns, while Mack forced two fumbles and just dominated the Redskins' offensive line.
How do you become jaded about your team?
These easy steps:
1. Following an embarrassing Super Bowl loss, the 2003 Raiders completely drop off the face of the planet due to the front office’s decision to bring most of the team back. They quickly age, dropping to 4-12 in 2003. Though there’s a no doubt a legitimate lag after losing the Super Bowl, it’s a shocking drop off for a team many predicted to win the AFC West and perhaps get back to the Super Bowl.
2. In the midst of a five-game losing streak, Raiders head coach Bill Callahan labels his team the “dumbest team in America,” ironic considering Callahan thought it would be a good idea to essentially run Gruden’s offense against Gruden, the opposing head coach of that Super Bowl.
3. A decade later, Jerry Rice and Tim Brown accuse Callahan of throwing the Super Bowl against his friend Gruden. Though obviously never confirmed, it’s really special have two of the best 15 wide receivers in NFL history accuse their coach of throwing the most important game in their Raider careers.
4. The Raiders jettison Callahan and hire the slightly more inspiring Norv Turner. After a promising 2-1 start, former MVP Rich Gannon injures his neck, ushering in the Kerry Collins era. The Raiders, for the second straight season, sustain a five-game losing streak and it’s really an end of decent era in the early 2000s.
5. In one of the few roster moves that excited Raiders fans in the past 15 years, the team traded for all-world wide receiver Randy Moss. Moss, unfortunately, had the worst season in his prime…bringing in just 60 passes and would later be traded to the New England Patriots, where he came just one game short of being part of the league’s first 19-0 team. Moss would play just 29 games for the Raiders. Not even Moss, arguably the game’s greatest playmaker of the past 25 years, would work out for the Raiders.
6. In 2006, the Raiders bring back Art Shell as head coach.
Here’s how that went:
7. The 2006 Raiders go down as one of the worst teams in the past 15 years in the NFL, somehow averaging just 10.6 points per game in an era that begins to see offenses scoring at will and quarterback friendly rules. Starting quarterbacks during this season? Andrew Walter and Aaron Brooks. They combine for seven touchdowns and 24 interceptions. Bonus points — the Brooks signing opens the door for the Saints to sign quarterback Drew Brees. You know, instead of the Raiders.
8. What do you do when you don’t have a quarterback? You draft one. Unfortunately for the Raiders, that quarterback turns out to be JaMarcus Russell with the first pick of the 2007 NFL Draft. The Raiders pick Russell over Calvin Johnson and Joe Thomas, considered the two best prospects entering that draft. Also picked in the first round? Guys named Adrian Peterson, Patrick Willis, Marshawn Lynch and Darrelle Revis. Russell’s legacy, outside of his unfortunate run in with the law, are numerous fat jokes (DeMarcus Ruffles was my favorite). In just 25 starts, Russell tosses for 18 touchdowns and compiles a 7-18 record. Between his signing bonus, guaranteed money and salary, Russell brought home just a shade over $39 million. If you’re counting at home, each touchdown Russell ended up with costs the Raiders $2 million.
9. Speaking of short careers in the Silver and Black, it was Lane Kiffin’s turn to be head coach. After a kind, sort of promising end to his first season that saw back-to-back wins over division rivals Kansas City and Denver, the wheels fall off at the beginning of the 2008 season. He’s unexpectedly fired by Al Davis, the first of a handful of dramatic coaching exits for Kiffin. Former Raiders owner Al Davis said Kiffin’s Raiders were “embarrassing to watch” during a press conference that somehow included an overhead projector.
Seriously, watch this!
10. Going back to the theme of disappointing wide receiver acquisitions - we’ll be back again, trust me - Javon Walker signed a $55 million deal with the Raiders that includes a $16 million signing bonus. His Raider career lasts just 19 games and 18 catches. In other words, he averaged $1 million a catch during his Raiders career.
11. Bad free agent decisions in 2008 were not limited to the offensive side of the ball. After signing promising cornerback De’Angelo Hall to a $70 million deal, Hall proceeds to allow 146 receiving yards to Denver Bronco rookie wide receiver Eddie Royal in the season opener. Hall’s Oakland Raider career lasts just eight games. Still, Hall brought home $8 million, averaging $1 million a game. Do you sense a pattern here? Russell, Walker and Hall can be classified as the Million Dollar Club.
12. All NFL dynasties have one thing in common - a great quarterback/coaching combination. Brady-Belichick. Montana-Walsh. Starr-Lombardi. Bradshaw-Noll. Mini-dynasties do as well if you include Johnson-Aikman, Landry-Staubach and Shanahan-Elway.
Let’s check in on some of the QB/coaching combinations for the Raiders in this era:
Callahan/Rick Meier
Turner/Kerry Collins
Shell/Andrew Walter
Kiffin/Josh McCown and Kiffin/Russell
Dennis Allen/Carson Palmer and Allen/Terrelle Pryor
Those really happened. That list of starting quarterbacks also does not include Jason Campbell, Matt McGloin and a cameo appearance by Bruce Gradkowski.
13. Another common thing dynasties do well is nail their draft picks, or at least the high picks. Here’s a quick run down of some of the first round picks made by the Raiders form 2003-2012:
- Nnamdi Asomugha, 2003: A lone bright spot who quickly moves on to Philly.
- Tyler Brayton, 2003: A defensive end who ends up with six sacks during his five-year Raider career.
- Robert Gallery, 2004: Seven of the first eight draft picks in that class made at least one pro-bowl. Gallery was the exception. Among the names Gallery was picked over: Larry Fitzgerald, Philip Rivers, Sean Taylor and Ben Roethlisberger. While it’s easy to pick on draft picks in hindsight, keep in mind that the Raiders DESPERATELY needed a quarterback after Gannon’s injury. Passing over Rivers and Roethlisberger is indefensible, let alone Fitzgerald and Taylor — who were considered the two best skill players in that draft by many.
- Fabian Washington, 2005 - The Raiders selected Washington with the 23rd pick of the 2005 NFL Draft.
The player selected with the 24th pick of the draft?
This guy:
Again, keep in mind that the search for the next franchise quarterback was still going. This isn't hindsight.
- Michael Huff, 2006 - A respectable career, but one nagged by multiple benchings by the coaching staff.
- Darren McFadden, 2008 - I’m convinced his career is respectable if he’s drafted by any other team. Instead, injuries and a poor offensive line plague his career.
14. What about the 2011 and 2012 draft picks? They were traded to New England for Richard Seymour and Cincinnati for Carson Palmer. Palmer was coming off a career-threatening injury and would finish his Raiders career a whopping 8-16 with 35 touchdowns and 30 interceptions. To be fair, slightly better than JaMarcus Russell. After making one pro-bowl, Seymour’s final few seasons would be uneventful in the Silver and Black. In typical Raiders fashion, Palmer would be traded to Arizona and found some success, leading the Cardinals to multiple playoff appearances.
(If you're counting at home, Seymour, Palmer and Moss combined for two pro-bowl appearances. The Raiders traded three first round picks in seven years for this production)
15. The 2010 Raiders sweep the AFC West, but somehow inexplicably miss the playoffs after finishing just 2-8 against the rest of the NFL. The division-winning Chiefs - led by Matt Cassel and first-year head coach Todd Haley - finish just 2-4 in the AFC West, meanwhile. Even in a respectable season, there’s frustration.
16. Since 2003, there have been 10 head coaches of the Raiders. Just one of them - Jack Del Rio - lasted longer than three years. Just one of them - again, Del Rio - finished with a winning record.
17. Things begin to at least looking promising in 2014 and 2015 with the selections of Khalil Mack, Derek Carr and Amari Cooper in the 2014 and 2015 NFL drafts. While some teams were scared off Mack due to his college he played at, he was considered a top defensive prospect. Carr was considered a sneaky good quarterback prospect who the Raiders stole in the second round, while Cooper was a stud at Alabama.
18. In a year that began with a gutsy win in New Orleans, the 2016 Raiders begin the season 10-2 and in prime position to make the playoffs. Despite a disappointing loss at Arrowhead Stadium in an AFC West showdown, the Raiders are looking to make some noise. With a resurgent running game developing towards the end of the year and no dominating team, the Raiders even begin to get some Super Bowl buzz…..
19. That is until Derek Carr breaks his leg on Christmas Eve, in a game he shouldn’t have been in with the Raiders well in control. Carr can be heard on NFL Films saying “It Broke.” It’s an injury some believe he’s never recovered from mentally or physically. Carr’s status as the Raiders franchise quarterback remains up in the air at this moment.
20. In their first playoff game since the Super Bowl in 2003, the Raiders get rocked by the Houston Texans 27-14. Connor Cook starts the game at quarterback and proceeds to throw one touchdown and three interceptions.
21. After an offseason that saw the signing of Marshawn Lynch, the 2017 Raiders start off a promising 2-0, defeating their opening opponents by a combined score of 71-36. Then, the wheels fall off. Two separate four-game losing streaks result in the Raiders finishing 6-10. Outside of a fun 31-30 win against the Chiefs on Thursday night football, it’s a wasted season. Coach Jack Del Rio is fired and replaced with Jon Gruden.
22. In the midst of coaching changes and a frustrating 2017, rumors swirl about the team moving to Las Vegas. Those rumors eventually come to fruition, with a new stadium being built in Sin City.
23. After averaging just over 10 sacks for the Raiders in his four-year career, generational talent Khalil Mack is traded to Chicago for multiple picks — and the Raiders were even nice enough to throw in a second-rounder for some reason that still escapes me. The trade has been defended by some as a way to save money. Football fans and pundits who know the importance of a dominant pass rusher should know better. In 2018, Mack helps lead the Bears to their first division title in nearly a decade. Meanwhile, the Raiders as a team end with 13 sacks to Mack’s 12.5 sacks alone.
24. Mack’s three pro-bowl appearances in Oakland, by the way, were more than the 2003-2012 first round picks made combined.
25. During a 2018 season that saw just four wins, the Raiders trade Amari Cooper to the Dallas Cowboys in what actually feels like a good move. The Raiders acquire a first-round pick from the Cowboys. Cooper, in his final 18 games for the Raiders, had an unremarkable 70 receptions and 960 yards. In 12 games for the Cowboys since then, Cooper has 69 receptions, 963 yards and 10 touchdowns. He currently leads the NFL in touchdowns as of this typing.
26. Things begin to look decent during the Spring of 2019, when behind millions of dollars in Salary Cap spending and picks, the Raiders acquire a handful of talented players. This includes wide receiver Antonio Brown, who the team acquired for just a third-rounder and fifth-rounder from the Pittsburgh Steelers. It’s a move most NFL pundits approve of, wondering how the Raiders stole him from the Steelers.
27. And then in the summer of 2019, we find out why the Raiders paid just a third-round and fifth-rounder. A saga that includes HelmetGate, a hot-air balloon, frost-bitten feet, a threat against the general manager and secretly recording his coach ends with the Raiders releasing Brown. He has since been released by the New England Patriots. If you’re still counting at home, the two most dominant wide receivers in the past 15 years combined to play just 29 games in the Silver and Black.
28. From 2004-2014, just 20 Raiders are selected to the NFL Pro Bowl. No quarterback, wide receiver, linebacker or running back is picked. In other words, a full decade goes back without a meaningful skill player being selected on offense.
29. Since 2000, the Raiders have had 19 different starting quarterbacks. From 2003-2015 alone, the Raiders had 17 different starting quarterbacks sandwiched in between the Gannon and Carr eras.
30. I am 34 years old. The Raiders’ last playoff win came when I was 18 years old. It came before Facebook. It came before Twitter. There have been three full presidential terms since the last postseason win and there stands to be a fourth one depending on how optimistic you are about the 2020 Raiders.
I am still on the Gruden/Mayock bandwagon at this time. The 2019 rookie class looks somewhat promising. The 2018 class is coming along. They have over $80 million in cap money entering Vegas.
However, it would be hard to blame any Raiders fan who has no faith in this franchise. It's a dark time for the team.
It's been 15 miserable years and outside of perhaps Cleveland Browns fans, no other team's fan base has been destroyed as much as the Raider Nation.
So, if you come across a grumpy Raiders fan --- especially this one in Kansas City --- this is why.
Over the past month or two, I have done some soul searching.
As I outlined in my previous post, I have struggled over the years with anxiety issues.
While I have a lot of work to do, I'm proud to say some progress has been made already thanks to my decision, supportive friends and a few strokes of luck.
In the meantime, I have decided to outlined a new set of rules for me. These rules will help me stay on the right track and make me a happier person.
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1.Family and friends first. They support you the most. You need to do a great job supporting them.
2.Continue to exercise most days if not daily.
3.Focus on the fact that life is imperfect instead of focusing on being perfect and perfectionism. We were not meant to be perfect. Everyone has flaws. Every day has flaws.
4.Interact with more people, whether it’s in person, via text or email. Try to find comparable life experiences with as many people as possible.
5.Barring a special occasion or circumstance, I will keep my work in the office.
6.I will trust “the plan.” There are uncontrollable factors in life. Embrace this. Things happen for a reason.
7.Win the Day: Understand that not much happens overnight. I will do my best each day in hope of good days piling up to become a good life. Life is a “bit by bit” challenge. Focus on winning the day ahead of you and life will get better.
8.If fear comes, accept it and don’t fight. Don’t try to escape from it.
9.Instead of asking “what if?” try to start asking “so what?”
10. Stay in the present. Focus on what’s happening to you now and stop thinking of how much worse it could get.
11. Embrace your feelings and don’t wish them away.
12. Enjoy the wins. If you nine out of 10 things go right, enjoy the nine things instead of focusing on the one that got away.
Over the past few weeks, I have started looking for help in solving what I believe is a social anxiety disorder.
The words “I need help” are extremely tough for me to say. It feels like I’m conceding. It feels like I’m tossing in the towel.
But it’s a step I need to take to improve my life.
Bottom line: I’m afraid of most social situations and most people, whether it’s dating, waiting in line at the store, working out in public or going to family gatherings.
If you’ve gotten me to drive 40 minutes away from my home to Grain Valley, MO. in order to hangout with your family and BBQ, convinced me to do a podcast with you or I’ve done yoga with you and went to your baby shower with lots of strangers, congratulations. I can’t give you any higher compliment. You made me dig deep inside myself and find something I didn’t have. Only a select few have been to make me do that.
Now I hope I can have that same type of response to everyone. If I’ve been cold to you in the past, quiet or not showed up at parties or invites, please forgive me - or at least be understanding. Large gatherings literally scare me. I’m afraid.
While every case may be different, here are some of the experiences I have dealt with over the past 33 years:
1. I’m afraid to ask women out. To some extent, this is true for a lot of men. For me, my anxiety has prevented me from dating a few folks who in retrospect I know would have said yes. There are a lot of single people out there for a lot of reasons. I don’t want to be single. I tell myself this every time. But my fear of asking a girl out prevents me from fixing this. That’s not good.
2. I typically go the gym between midnight-3 a.m. out of fear of working out in front of a million people. OK, it might just be 30 - but it feels like a million.
3. I feel like a lot of people hate me…even if that’s not the case.
4. Sometimes I take coaching as personal criticism. That’s not good.
5. I’m afraid of inviting people over to my apartment.
6. I stay quiet in the bar unless someone directly asks me a question or feedback on something.
7. I’m afraid of starting a conversation.
8. I’m afraid of being the center of attention in a social setting.
9. I’m afraid of saying the word “love.”
10. I’m afraid of standing in a line at grocery store. It’s often the biggest reason I use the self-check out lines.
11. I over apologize for things — even when I’m right.
12. I have a crippling fear of being embarrassed.
13. I sit alone in my apartment most weekends and stay inside out of fear.
14. I rarely eat out.
15. I rarely run outside.
This is who I have been for the past 33 years of my life. I’m hoping my next 33 years are a lot of different.
Coming out like this and posting it online and on social media feels embarrassing and might be considered surprising for my friends and colleagues, but it’s a step I have to take to get better and to explain myself.
I don’t exactly know what the measuring sticks are. However, my goal is to just get a little bit better each week, month or whatever.
